He said he'd been reflecting on a lot of what I post. The "why" behind it. Why some emails suck. Why some people take things personally. Why some people think the way I post is cocky or arrogant.

He said he'd literally heard people say that. People he'd referred to my LinkedIn. Of course he disagrees.

But it got me thinking.

There's this weird middle ground of people who "get it," do all of the research, write a personalized email, but then still take it personally when someone doesn't respond. And they never follow up.

They put all their eggs in one basket. They think one connection is their big break. And when it doesn't work out, it's devastating.

They get offended. They shut down. They quit.

And that's the problem.

You can choose to get offended. Or you can choose to dissect it a bit. Pull out the learnings. Leave the stuff that doesn't serve you.

Take it personal or don't. It costs the same energy to do both.

One side of that coin can set you back a day or a week or 10 years.

One can propel you to the moon.

Which do you want?

"I think the bottom line is that you shouldn't take things personally, because business is business."

I disagree.

I think for me, because I have and do have currently a foot in the corporate world and a foot in the freelance world, business IS business inside of a corporation.

But it is very personal when you are self employed.

It is YOU. Your life. Your blood, sweat, and tears.

To add insult to injury, we are artists. And very sensitive.

Admit it or not, we are.

When someone doesn't respond to your email, it feels personal. When someone ghosts you after a great conversation, it feels personal. When someone passes on your work, it feels personal.

Because it is your work. Your vision. Your effort.

And pretending it's not personal is just lying to yourself.

You acknowledge it. You feel it. And then you choose what to do next.

You can sit in it. Let it spiral. Let it convince you that nobody likes your work, that you're not good enough, that you should quit.

Or you can redirect it.

Every "no" is a learning opportunity.

My friend said it perfectly: "I don't lose and I don't get rejected. Every 'no' is a learning opportunity. And a win can also be a learning opportunity."

If you can redirect that mindset into taking the opportunity to learn from it, you will never lose anything in your life.

It's truly just a big mindset shift.

They think one email, one connection, one big opportunity is going to change everything.

And when it doesn't work out, they're devastated.

The solution? Multiple eggs in a lot of baskets.

That way if a connection you think is your big break doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world.

You're building relationships with 10 people. 20 people. 50 people.

You're showing up consistently. You're following up. You're not relying on one person to save you.

And when you're in that position, when you're juggling 5 big productions at the same time, freelancing for multiple companies, or working on huge stuff for one company, you get it.

You realize that the people who don't respond aren't ignoring you. They're just busy.

And the ones who do respond? They remember you because you showed up. Consistently. Without taking it personally.

"It most definitely comes down to an ego problem. Once you can put your ego aside, I think the world opens up to you."

The people who take constructive criticism badly, the ones who get offended when you rewrite their emails, they will never get it.

And before all of that, admitting you have a problem is step 1.

If you haven't booked any work from 1,000 outreach emails, where is the issue?

If you can come to the conclusion after putting your ego aside that your outreach is the problem, then you can open up your mind to learning and maybe changing what's not working.

But if you refuse to admit that, if you blame the industry or the clients or bad luck, you'll stay stuck.

My friend said it well: "I truly believe that you have to be open to learning and be receptive to it to get any help. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Learning and coaching is identical to physical training. You get what you put into it."

When someone asks if coaching will help them, he always asks: "Are you willing to put the work in?"

And they're confused. What do you mean, I have to put the work in? My coach has to put the work in!

Wrong.

Coaching is just a mirror of yourself.

I've tried to help so many people, and it's just exhausting if they are unwilling to learn.

Pulling from personal experiences and telling someone, "Hey, I tried what you're doing, I get it, I would try this instead" is a waste of energy if they won't even implement what you're offering.

Some people are just impossible to help.

He said ever since he read my cold email guide and workshopped his emails more, he genuinely went from 5% response rates to 40 to 80%.

The best emails he writes, he already knows he'll get a response to before he even hears back.

He's written his emails to literally be impossible to ignore. And if they don't get back to him, he knows they will once he follows up.

That's the difference.

He put his ego aside. He admitted his outreach was the problem. He did the work. And his response rates jumped.

Not because he got lucky. Not because the industry changed. But because he changed.

You can choose to get offended when someone doesn't respond. When someone rewrites your email. When someone tells you your outreach needs work.

Or you can choose to learn from it.

Pull out the lessons. Leave what doesn't serve you. Redirect the energy into getting better.

Take it personal or don't. It costs the same energy.

One side sets you back. One propels you forward.

Which do you want?

Stop taking every "no" as rejection.

Stop letting your ego block you from learning.

Start treating every "no" as a learning opportunity.

Start putting in the work behind the scenes.

Start showing up consistently, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Because the people who make it in this industry aren't the ones who never get rejected.

They're the ones who choose not to take it personally.

See you next week.

Chris Whitten